Self Preservation Wields a Double Edged Sword

I often wonder if your edges will ever soften

not to the point of being dull,

but to the point of being comfortably held.

To the point your sword is a symbol of valor

to the inner wars fought and won,

And not used as a weapon, unsheathed

fulfilling angry deeds.

I am not asking you to be honored or knighted.

I am merely asking to be valued and respected

in the moments you wield your words so carelessly.

Aiming to cut those who love you most

when the questions and expectations grow challenging,

triggering you to the point you start to assume

I’ve challenged you to a duel

Never once paying mind to the fact that there is no sword in my hand,

while you continue to swing for my neck and lunge for my heart.

These acts of self preservation are in no way courageous,

Nor are they just. I don’t owe you an unconditional anything;

not love or a lollygagging lumber towards a boundary set

when your conditions have brought only

torrential rainfall, iridescent mood swings

and more fist marks into the drywall of my heart

than I could ever attempt to count.

Nicholas Grooms is a proud stay at home father, poet, author, and musician hailing from Garden City, Kansas. He has contributed to such periodicals such as Midsummer Dream House, Roi Faineant and Skyline Magazine but is best known for his work as a musician, with many notable appearances including the Vans Warped Tour and his songwriting work with the Kansas City Chiefs organization. He currently resides in Austin, TX.